Anything for a Vote Read online

  No records survive to confirm what happened because almost everything important that occurred during those six historic days took place in the utmost secrecy. But many suspected that Thomas Jefferson cut a deal with the Federalist party to become president of the United States.

  Jefferson would always deny this, but his policies while in office—which included continuing the Bank of the United States set up by Hamilton, financing a national debt, and keeping certain Federalists in office—seemed to confirm that a secret agreement had been made with the opposition party.

  THE ONLY THING MISSING IS MONICA … The Federalists couldn’t get enough of attacking Jefferson in a very, very personal way—their assaults sound like the insults leveled at Bill Clinton, another Southerner, almost 200 years later. “Jefferson is a mean-spirited, low-lived fellow, the son of a half-breed Indian squaw, sired by a Virginia mulatto father,” said one leaflet. A Connecticut paper raised the specter of the French Revolution, supposedly beloved by Jefferson: “Are you prepared to see your dwellings in flames … female chastity violated, [your] children writhing on the pike? GREAT GOD OF COMPASSION AND JUSTICE, SHIELD MY COUNTRY FROM DESTRUCTION.”

  KING JOHN Republicans claimed that Adams planned to marry one of his sons to a daughter of King George III of England in order to start an American royal dynasty and reunite England and America. And if that wasn’t enough to make Anglophobes panic, Republicans also claimed that Adams sent his running mate, Charles Pinckney, to England to pick up four pretty mistresses—two for the president, two for Pinckney. (When Adams heard about this, he exclaimed, “If this be true, General Pinckney has kept them all for himself and cheated me out of my two!”)

  FIRST BLAME-IT-ALL-ON-THE-MEDIA ATTACK After the election, one Federalist poet decided that his party’s defeat could be blamed entirely on the media, which (in his opinion) clearly favored the Republican Party:

  “And lo! In meretricious dress,

  Forth comes a strumpet called ‘THE PRESS.’

  Whose haggard, unrequested charms

  Rush into every blaggard’s arms.”

  WHO’S YOUR DADDY? Alexander Hamilton was born illegitimate, a fact that John Adams—who had good reason to hate Hamilton’s guts—never let him forget. On various occasions, Adams referred to Hamilton as “a Creole bastard,” “the bastard brat of a Scotch peddlar,” and “a man devoid of every Moral principle—a bastard.”

  NEVER AGAIN In the election’s aftermath, all Republicans and Federalists agreed on one thing: Another election like that of 1800 was to be avoided if at all possible. Therefore, Congress passed a resolution for a constitutional amendment stating that electors would henceforth vote separately for president and vice president, rather than allowing the two top vote-getters to take all. The resolution was quickly ratified and became the Twelfth Amendment.

  Republicans claimed that John Adams and running mate Charles Pinckney shared a total of four mistresses—all imported from England.

  THOMAS JEFFERSON

  VS. CHARLES PINCKNEY

  Since Thomas Jefferson proved to be a highly skilled middle-of the-road president, the election of 1804 was a bit of a snoozer. Despite Federalist howls, Jefferson did not turn the country into an atheistic society, instigate a Jacobian bloodbath, or abandon the New England merchant class. In fact, the new president made a number of popular decisions during his first term—most notably the Louisiana Purchase, in which Jefferson doubled the size of the United States for a mere fifteen million bucks (amounting to roughly three cents an acre).

  On February 25, 1804, in what was the first official nominating caucus for a U.S. president, Republican congressmen met and re-nominated Thomas Jefferson for president, naming New York Governor George Clinton as his veep candidate.

  The Federalists chose Charles Cotesworth Pinckney, Adams’s 1800 running mate, as their candidate. Pinckney was a large, jowly man, respected by both parties but half-deaf and not terribly exciting. New York Senator Rufus King got the nod for vice president.

  THE CAMPAIGN Everyone could see that Jefferson and the Republicans had a lock on the election, but the Federalists—desperate to salvage votes in their base of New England—fought as hard as they could. The usual anti-Jefferson slurs were trotted out—he was an atheist, he had an affair with his slave, and so on.

  THE WINNER: THOMAS JEFFERSON It was absolutely no contest: 162 votes for Jefferson, 14 for Pinckney. The Federalists carried only two states: Connecticut and Delaware. Even Massachusetts voted Republican.

  JAMES MADISON

  VS. CHARLES PINCKNEY

  Thomas Jefferson’s second term was a much different story than his first, primarily because of escalating hostilities between the French and the British.

  The powerful British navy had returned to its extremely antagonistic practice of stopping American ships on the pretext of looking for English deserters, but actually to impress American seamen into duty. After one particularly nasty incident when a British warship attacked an American frigate just off the coast of Virginia, killing and wounding twenty-one sailors, Jefferson prevailed upon Congress to pass the Embargo Act, which kept Americans from trading with not just Great Britain and France but all of Europe.

  Unfortunately, the biggest victims of the embargo were American farmers who exported grain overseas and New England merchants, whose lively trade in goods to Europe was now cut off. Instead of being the shining hero, Jefferson became, as one newspaper put it, “an infernal villain.”

  Like Washington before him, Jefferson knew when to shuffle off the public stage. Declaring that it was time to retire to “my family, my books, and farms,” he recommended his close friend and secretary of state, James Madison, as the next Republican presidential candidate. Vice President George Clinton would remain as running mate.

  Despite his résumé, the fifty-seven-year-old Madison did not necessarily make a good first impression. He was five-feet-four-inches tall, weighed less than one hundred pounds (his contemporaries referred to him as Little Jemmy), and suffered from numerous health complaints. He didn’t like to make eye contact and his expression was generally dour; most portraits seem to capture him having just bitten into a lemon.

  Yet first impressions could be deceiving, for Little Jemmy was extremely bright, with an astute grasp of the problems that faced the nation. And, if he lacked Jefferson’s political charm and savvy, he did have another, quite valuable, asset: his wife, Dolley, who was seventeen years younger than he, beautiful, and vivacious—the Jackie Kennedy of her day.

  As for the Federalists, they brought back Charles Pinckney and Rufus King—the less-than-dynamic duo of 1804. This time around, they didn’t have to face off against the charismatic Thomas Jefferson. But in picking the same stolid candidates all over again, the Federalists showed they were a party in need of fresh talent.

  THE CAMPAIGN By the summer of 1808, things were not looking great for the Republicans, mainly because of the embargo (many opponents called it the “Dambargo”). But with a possible war against Great Britain on the horizon, the country rallied around the party in office.

  THE WINNER: JAMES MADISON Madison received 122 electoral votes, Pinckney received a mere 47. And, on March 1, 1809, the departing Thomas Jefferson gave Little Jemmy a gift—he signed a bill repealing the Embargo Act.

  JAMES MADISON

  VS. DEWITT CLINTON

  James Madison was not a colorful man; he was often eclipsed during his presidency by his wife, Dolley. Historically speaking, the same holds true. In America’s litmus test of enduring presidential fame—otherwise known as Show Me the Money—Madison’s likeness can be found only on the $5,000 bill, a unit of currency that has been discontinued.

  But much to the delight of giggling high-school students everywhere, Madison is renowned for the Non-Intercourse Act. Despite its name, this new law, pushed through Congress by Madison, took the place of the repealed Embargo Act. The much more sensible Non-Intercourse Act allowed Americans to trade with the whole world exce
pt for England and France; thus American merchants found other markets, particularly in the Netherlands, and prospered.

  War with Great Britain was definitely in the air as the election season of 1812 heated up. In the congressional elections of 1810–11, a revolution had taken place. Half the admittedly creaky and aging House members were voted out, replaced by idealistic younger men like Henry Clay and John C. Calhoun. These War Hawks wanted England to pay for her insults over the years.

  Madison understood that most of the country, along with the War Hawks, wanted to engage in hostilities with Great Britain and that it might behoove him to go along. He was nominated by the Republicans in May 1812. Since VP George Clinton had died in office just a few weeks earlier, the Republicans nominated Elbridge Gerry, former governor of Massachusetts, as their new vice president. (Gerry’s energetic redistricting of Federalist voting areas is how we got the term gerrymandering.)

  What happened—or didn’t happen—with the Federalist nominating process provides the only thing that really passes for suspense in the election of 1812. The Federalists decided not to nominate their own candidate. Instead, they gave their support to … a Republican.

  That Republican was DeWitt Clinton, mayor of New York City, nephew of the deceased George Clinton, and implacable enemy of James Madison. Like another Clinton after him, DeWitt figured he could be all things to all people. He would appeal as an antiwar candidate to Federalists, yet would also be attractive to New England Republicans sick of the “Virginia Dynasty” (that’s how many described the choke hold the South seemed to have on the White House after the Washington, Jefferson, and Madison administrations). In August of 1812, the Federalists met in great secrecy and decided to tacitly throw their support his way.

  THE CAMPAIGN Clinton’s supporters presented themselves as the peace ticket, but they assured voters that, if Clinton were elected, he would still prosecute the war—only far more wisely than Madison (if you were paying attention in the election of 2004, this line of thinking ought to sound familiar). Clinton’s supporters called the sitting president “a base wretch … who is for WAR,” attempting to pound the drum of popular indignation. But since the war against Great Britain had plenty of supporters, the ploy was unsuccessful.

  THE WINNER: JAMES MADISON After the electoral votes from the eighteen states of the Union were counted, James Madison was declared the winner, with 128 votes to Clinton’s 89. Not then—not ever—would Americans turn a “war president” out of office.

  This election heralded the beginning of the end for the Federalist Party. Over the next few years, it faded from the political scene. Ironically, this was partially because so many of the Federalist ideas had already been, or would soon be, incorporated into the fabric of American life—including a national bank, a standing army, and a strong central government to ride herd on unruly states. But, ultimately, the Federalist Party had allowed itself to become too narrowly defined—as the party of the rich and the powerful, as a group who cared only about northern New England states. As Americans began spreading out across the continent, they sought political representation that reflected a broader and more democratic view of the burgeoning new country.

  JAMES MONROE

  VS. RUFUS KING

  Even though the War of 1812 ended on a satisfactory note in 1814 with an American victory, Madison announced that he would follow the custom of leaving after two terms. James Monroe stood ready behind the throne.

  Monroe was the last of the revolutionary generation of Virginians—Washington, Jefferson, Madison—to become president. He had quite a résumé: Continental Congress, U.S. Senate, minister to France under both Washington and Jefferson, secretary of state, and acting secretary of war under Madison.

  Despite all that, Monroe elicited a general dearth of enthusiasm. He may have been honest and hardworking, but he clearly lacked charisma. Still, in the absence of fierce party rivalries, there was no need to trumpet Monroe’s virtues (or those of his vice president, Daniel Tompkins). Voters didn’t have much of an alternative.

  The Federalists didn’t even bother to make an official nomination, although three or four northern states got together and decided it might be a good idea if Rufus King, the perennial vice-presidential candidate, ran for president against Monroe. It was a half-hearted gesture from a dying political party. “Federalists our age must be content with the past,” King sadly told a friend even before the election was over.

  THE CAMPAIGN There was none. Rufus King sniped that Monroe had “the zealous support of nobody, and he was exempt from the hostility of everybody.” This was accurate, but beside the point.

  THE WINNER: JAMES MONROE A snap: 183 votes for Monroe, 34 for Rufus King. The “Era of Good Feelings” was about to begin.

  JAMES MONROE

  VS. HIMSELF

  In the inaugural address delivered by James Monroe in March 1817, he remarked how gratifying it was “to witness the increased harmony of opinion which pervades our Union. Discord does not belong to our system.”

  Spoken like a true Founding Father—they never did like those pesky political parties.

  There’s nothing like a successful war, economic prosperity, and a lack of Federalists to make a Republican circa 1820 feel good. As in the wilderness when the natural enemy of a species is removed, the predator-free creatures thrive.

  The most contentious issue facing the country was that the North was rapidly outstripping the South in terms of population and therefore political clout. If the new states entering the Union from the Louisiana Purchase were admitted without slaves, the South would quickly become marginalized. The Missouri Compromise signed by Monroe divvied things up—states south of the 36°30″ latitude could own slaves—but set the scene for further strife.

  For now, however, all was well. Republicans nominated James Monroe for president, with Vice President Daniel Tompkins continuing in his role.

  The Federalist Party, since it had ceased to exist, nominated no one. For the third—and last—time in history, a presidential candidate ran unopposed.

  THE WINNER: JAMES MONROE James Monroe received all the electoral votes—well, all but one. A curmudgeon in New Hampshire gave his one vote to John Quincy Adams, Monroe’s secretary of state, so that George Washington would remain the only president ever elected unanimously.

  JOHN QUINCY ADAMS

  VS.

  ANDREW JACKSON

  “Every liar and calumniator was at work day and night to destroy my reputation.”

  —John Quincy Adams

  Like many presidents, James Monroe seemed to grow into the presidency just as it was time to leave office. His second term reached an apex in 1823 when he issued the historic Monroe Doctrine, in which he declared the Western Hemisphere closed to colonization by other powers. But despite this foreign relations coup, the real excitement during the second Monroe administration concerned the naming of his successor.

  The election of 1824 had much in common with the elections of today, especially in that candidates began unofficially running almost the minute Monroe was inaugurated in 1821. One newspaper, the Niles Register, counted seventeen men who had thrown their hats in the ring; among them were some pretty influential personalities, including Secretary of War John C. Calhoun, Secretary of the Treasury William Crawford, former Speaker of the House Henry Clay, and Andrew Jackson, hero of New Orleans and supposed “friend of the common man.” And then there was Secretary of State John Quincy Adams, the brilliant but aloof son of America’s second president.

  Crawford was considered the front-runner—Monroe himself favored him—and he was certain that when it came time for the Congressional caucus, he would receive the nomination over his rivals. But a funny thing happened on the way to the caucus.

  Since 1804, small groups—or caucuses—of influential congressmen had picked the Republican Party nominee for president, but public sentiment was changing. Many Americans perceived the caucuses as elitist. Residents of new Western states such as Missouri
, Kentucky, Tennessee, Ohio, and Illinois wanted a more direct say in electing the president and thus voted in congressmen who more truly represented their wishes. Certain states began to let citizens choose their electors by popular vote. Tennessee sent the half-literate coonskin-capped Davy Crockett to Congress, declaring he was every bit as good as some bewigged aristocrat from Virginia.

  Realizing the times were a-changing, all the candidates except Crawford simply boycotted the caucus procedure, lined up their own support, and started campaigning. The caucus did choose Crawford as the presidential nominee, but it didn’t matter. These were wild and woolly times; the American electoral system was reinventing itself, and no one recognized Crawford as the sole candidate. The so-called King Caucus system was officially dead, and it would never be used to choose a presidential candidate again.

  THE CANDIDATES

  ANDREW JACKSON Jackson was born in 1767 in South Carolina to poor Irish immigrant parents who worked a hardscrabble farm out in the boondocks, thus making him that most-coveted nineteenth-century commodity—a true “backwoods” presidential candidate (the first in American history). He was orphaned by the age of fourteen but became a successful lawyer, politician, and general; after destroying the British at New Orleans in 1815, Jackson became a bona fide national celebrity. He was tall, handsome, and—as many of his opponents on the battlefield and campaign trail discovered—extremely ruthless.

  WILLIAM CRAWFORD Talk about a dream candidate: During Crawford’s distinguished career, he had served as U.S. senator, minister to France, secretary of war (under Madison), and secretary of treasury (under Monroe). He was robust, good-looking, affable, and gregarious. Unfortunately, soon after being nominated, he suffered a stroke that left him paralyzed and nearly blind. Crawford eventually returned to work in his cabinet post, but he was no longer the front-runner for president.